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psychedelic musings of a tarayquin



today is a Thursday, June 30, 2005

:) first day funk

hay anku after 3 linggo na hindi nagagawa ang dapat gawin sa opisina... eto malapit na akong mag auto in ulit... tapos na ang mga oras na

... offline lang.. alang magawa... surf lang
... exceptions...
... ang pag iisip kung ano ang agagwin ko sa apat na sulok ng aking opisina sa loob
ng walong oras na aking pagtahan dito...
... ang feeling na pagiging unwanted kasi may silbi ka na din sa wakas...
... guilt trip kasi.. ala lang

kahit pala minsan nakakainis ang gingawa ko dahil puro problema na lang ng ibang tao ang pilit mong inaayos.. hindi mo pa rin maibigay sa kanila ang satisfaction...

sa loob ng 3 linggo sari-saring saloobin...sari-saring damdamin ang naramdaman ko.. hanggang sa huling minuto ng pagiging offline ko yata may issue ako na inilalabas na pilit ngunit pilit din siyang nagsusumiksik sa kadulo duluhan ng isipan ko at ayokong malaman ng iba... ganun nga yata talaga ako... hanggat kaya pipilitin hanggata di ap masyadong nasasaktan.. hanggat ok alng at nakakangiti pa tuloy lang..

madami ding nangyari sa buahy ko nung nakaraan 3 linggo...
...madami akong kaibigan at alam ko na alam nila na mahal ko sila...
...alam din ni tristan na mahal ko cya
...alam ko din sa sarili ko na hindi ako nagiisa kahit an may times ako na tamang senti... tamang paself pity... tamang guilt trip....

salamat na lang nanjan ang mga kaibigan ko at si tristan... mga tanging sandalan ko

hay anku uwian na pala..
cge bukas na lang.. offline ap rin anman ako sa july 1 pa ko babalik...
uupo na si pao dito eh...

bukas na lang pasikat na ang haring araw....
kailangan ng magpahinga muna...

tara

ang sabi ni mayumi.. kelan edi noong .. 4:37:00 AM
0 bulong

diba, dati nga ....

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today is a Monday, June 20, 2005

:) isa akong marangal na manggagawa

minsan sa opis... d naman minsan... kapag ang boss ko wala.

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mga fraustrated model kami.com

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tamad.com

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adik ako sa mukha ko....

ang sabi ni mayumi.. kelan edi noong .. 7:40:00 AM
0 bulong

diba, dati nga ....

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muni muni

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makulit makulit makulit...


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san makakabili ng isang pirasong peace of mind???


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sense of togetherness.com???


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mga adik sa pic

ang sabi ni mayumi.. kelan edi noong .. 7:33:00 AM
0 bulong

diba, dati nga ....

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today is a Friday, June 17, 2005

:) bagay bagay

may mga bagay na pag nakasanayan mo na hinhanap hanap mo na

parang

  • boston kreme ng dunkin donuts...
  • traffic sa makati...
  • ang mga kakulitan ng mga pamangkin ko....
  • ang paglabas labas namin ni tristan...
  • paguwi sa bataan at kumain ng isaw at fishball sa lumang palengke...
  • pagvideoke at pagkanta hanggat may hininga at boses pa ko...
  • ang pagsisimba..
  • araw araw na kuentuhan...

    iyon lang ba?
    palagay ko... kung ano pa man din ang natira akin na lang un....

    ang sabi ni mayumi.. kelan edi noong .. 10:17:00 AM
    0 bulong

    diba, dati nga ....

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    today is a Monday, June 13, 2005

    :) tell me where it hurts

    another week has gone by... OMG it thought this week wont end... i feel so sad.. burned out... super pagod.....
    hindi ko na alma kung ano ang gagawin ko... nawawalan na ko ng gana sa pagtratrabaho... gusto ko na talagang mag-aral... promise next sem babalik na ko sa akademya.. (malalim un)... try ko lang... malay mo makapasa ang isang tulad ko sa law school... oo.. law school tama.... iSANG malaking Law SkuL...

    hay... im having those insane moments...daily insane moments...
    sabi ko na nga ba may brain damage na ko...
    may mga malulungkot an moments din... pero ok lang... carry pa rin...

    cya... uuwi na din ako...
    mataas na ang haring araw...


    (im thankful kay God kasi i have my boyfriend with me... i have my friends with me.. my mama an d dada...)

    ang sabi ni mayumi.. kelan edi noong .. 11:43:00 AM
    0 bulong

    diba, dati nga ....

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    today is a Monday, June 06, 2005

    :) try ko ulit maging seryoso (part 2)

    try ko lang maging seryoso ulit...

    .... today i woke up thinking what the hell... ??? what's happening to me?? I NEED to get serious with my life A.S.A.P.

    i'm 24 years old... many people would think that i'm younger than my age when i act.. WADA... i couldnt care less... WHAT FOR?? I enjoy being myself... I love being me... I enjoy being ME...

    ...

    finally, it's been 1 month of living out here in the urban jungle of makati... i have my own little log book where i would fill it up with my daily "gastusin"... i do super hope that it will help me process up things, budget my finances and be a little more cautious this time on how much i'm spending against how much i'm... im not growing any younger....

    i hope it's working

    ...
    i have issues in moving on

    well that's not me... that was a line from my friend.. one of his famous quotable qoutes... hahaha he said it earlier when we were talking about applying to a position opened in our department... on my part i have no issues at all... moving on is part of life... but i do get a little fraustrated everytime that i see someone step up one knotch in the ladder... i get so fraustrated for myself... but happy and fulfilled for those going up.. especially if they're my friends... if they contented with what they have.. if they're happy with what they have achieve im happy for them...

    i cant help but dream when would be my time?
    am i not doing enough?

    don't get me wrong... I'm HAPPY where i am ryt now... but I'm not yet FULFILLED..... I have a lot of things in mind that i cant seem to see materialize...

    although i have these thoughts .. i just keep it to myself... sometimes i let it out through writings.. (Like this one!) but mostly... those type of thoughts are teh words left unspoken ... for my part at least....

    having these colloquial conversations with my friends , reflecting and digging to it deeply made me realize HOW MUCH I HAVE and HOW MUCH IM MISSING....

    ....
    when will my time come?
    when will my dreams finally come true?

    i dreamt of being a teacher when i was a kid... a lawyer and a writer when i was a little bit older na (during my university days ... the academe taught me a lot in life!)... now im a call center agent...
    i'm plannig to go to law school but i need to get a good job that will allow me to do and pursue my dreams... REALITY CHECK!
    again.. i would still want to pursue my dream.. be a lawyer for a foundation... help those who are in need .. BANTAY BATA here i come..
    ...
    would it be bacd if i ask God what are His plans for me?
    would it be too much to ask Him to give me a list of what i should do, what i need to do to get to where He planned me to be?
    would it br too much to ask HIM to give me FuLfiLLMEnt?

    Lord i know i've been BAD... VERY BAD but i'm asking for a new chance... for You to FIX my life....






    ang sabi ni mayumi.. kelan edi noong .. 4:00:00 AM
    0 bulong

    diba, dati nga ....

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